How old are you in survivor years?

I am preparing to participate in a few things over the next two weeks: participating on the 22nd in an Ohio for Obama cancer forum at OSU (not shure where yet!!) with sister-survivor Cynthia Nixon (yes - of Sex and the City!); appearing the next day on Gail Hogan's Columbus Daytime show to discuss breast cancer in young women; and then the following week traveling to Meigs County to do a presentation on intimacy after breast cancer.
As part of these talks, and in my bio, I always say that I am X number of years out. I find it fascinating how I (and many other survivors) tend to regress in maturity when it comes to telling our survivor years. My 'cancerversarry' is April 12th, 2001. So I am almost 8 years out. 7 years and 8 months to be exact. I would never say I am 7 years out now that I am so close to 8 years. I am 39 years old (ack!). But I would NEVER say I am 'almost 40' or 39 years and 7 months. Hells to the no!! I cling to that younger number with a viciousness found only in wild tigers! By the same token (or opposite token), I reach towards the "almost 8 years out" verbiage with vigor! I know, in my heart, that it doesn't really matter. That I could be 20 years out (my lips to God's ears!) and be diagnosed with a new breast cancer, or a metastic lesion...or worse. I know that in reality the further I get away from my original diagnosis I am not moving closer to a cure. Rather it is more likely that I am moving closer to my next diagnosis.

how i get through the day

okay this is going to be a really cheap shot at posting but I am really stressed at work these days. And one way I get through my days is listening to music.
Well today I was reminded just how much I love U2 and just how freakin' brilliant they are:

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight...

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home...hard to know what it is if you never had one
Home...I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the heart is

I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme...

So that's my motto...walk on.

It's that time again....

As I wrote in a prior post, I have a love-hate relationship with October. Right now - I love it. Wait until the end of October - and I will be oh-so-over it!

The YSC has several things happening . . . right now. . . as I write this . . . staff, Board members, survivors, and supporters are leaving Hershey, PA on the first day of three for the Hershey's Tour de Pink to benefit the YSC. You can follow their experiences here on the YSC pages. I expect next Monday they may show up on the morning news shows so tune in!This Saturday night I and several other YSC Central Ohio survivors and supporters will be attending Celebrate to benefit the Vicki Speakman Memorial Fund. The Fund has provided travel scholarships for 4 years and running for area survivors to attend the annual Conference for Young Women Affected By Breast Cancer. The Conference is an amazing experience is invaluable and uber-empowering for a young survivor. As I have always said about it - when you have never seen another young woman with breast cancer. . . to walk into a room with close to a thousand other faces just like yours is awe-inspiring!! Miguel Perez runs the Fund - Miguel is going to have be the subject on an entire post!! - and is a good friend to my family as well as the YSC.

Friday, October 10th, YSC Central Ohio will be holding their annual fundraiser - In Living Pink and tickets are still available. This fun event will raise money for valuable programs and services in the Central Ohio area for young women with breast cancer. Brian and me are major sponsors and several family members will be attending.

The week of October 20th, I will be appearing on Daytime Columbus, hosted by Gail Hogan, to discuss breast cancer in young women. Details are still being finalized. And on October 29th I will be traveling to Meigs County to talk about intimacy after breast cancer to a group of fellow survivors - I am always so thankful for the opportunity to connect to my sisters!So far that is it but I am sure there will be more! I didn't even talk about the movie, Living Proof, appearing on Lifetime television on October 18th, which will show the discovery and initial testing of the powerful drug Herceptin. I am thinking of trying to organize a party to watch it . . .